That’s one big elephant



Photo credit: http://www.readingart.ca/blog/?cat=418

 

Happy Holidays! I pray that you all are enjoying your families during this holiday season.

Be forewarned, depending on your viewpoint, I didn’t choose a pleasant topic for this month.

This post is for anyone mourning the loss of a loved one.

 

See, the handsome guy you see above is none other than my Daddy, my Ace, my Playa from the Himalayas, my first love, my Father. He suddenly passed away earlier in the year due to health issues and I miss him dearly.  His death changed my entire view of life. I have a refined take on why we as people exist and what we are supposed to do while we are here on Earth. I bask in moments of happiness. I fancy over natures gifts a little longer. And ironically, I love a little harder.

If it seems like I’m being positive patty… I am.



Photo credit: https://www.pexels.com/photo/waterfall-nature-6832/

There is a downfall.

I began this post a couple of months before releasing so it’s unclear as to where I will be in my process…But this one downfall has been the toughest part about my dads passing.




Photo credit: http://quotesgram.com/african-american-quotes-about-faith/

That downfall is called Grief.

Grief is a mean lil twitch. Grief is rude. Grief will interrupt conversations, meetings, social outings, anything. You think it, it’ll try to ruin it.

 In anticipation of my first holiday without my dad, I’m thinking that Grief will end up being the elephant in my room of holiday cheer.

Even with Grief not being invited to the family gathering I’m preparing myself because Grief just may show up. And if it does I’ll just have to deal with it because all in all Grief is actually healthy.

It doesn’t feel good when you’re having a conversation with Grief but it actually helps you process the loss of the loved one. I could spit a bunch of psychological terms to back me up… but I won’t. Just trust me.



Photo credit: http://www.facesandvoicesofrecovery.org/blog/2015/10/challenge-grief

Also trust that when Grief shows up as the elephant in your room, you should have a brief chit chat with it. Meditate on the convo. Get help processing if you need to (and even if you think you don’t). Grieving is a time of reflection but it’s also a time where loved ones should definitely be utilized.

I recently attended a seminar on Love and its relation to the multitude of religious practices. A panel member representing the Buddhist practice said (loosely translated) that “most of our disappointment’s in life stem from the concept of desire.” When it comes to bereavement, our desire was to have our loved one here with us, maybe for eternity, but our reality is that it won’t always be this way. There’s a middle ground of sorts that we must deal with. The ground of living without their physical presence and leaning on their spirit.  

In closing, anything by Frankie Beverly and Maze is my dads love letter to me. It helps me deal with my middle ground… 3 minutes of their music and everything is alright in my world. If you’re grieving for someone this holiday season, I hope that this can lift your spirits.  Really listen…

 

Enjoy your family this holiday season. Spend time not money. Love harder.

 

Be Blessed.  

 

Nika~Nu  

 

Encouraging orgs that I swear by…

www.ettrickumc.org www.alifelineforhope.org www.zipporahsangels.org